Facing Giants

In 1985 my youngest brother was 27 years old.  On February 28th of that year, he took a gun from my parent’s home and walked a few blocks, sat under a tree and took his life.  It was four years later before his body was discovered.  He was in a wooded secluded area.  That was a very hard time for my whole family.  When we didn’t know where he was, and then four years later when we knew where he was.  We had nothing to warn us that he was unhappy or going through some hard times.  Before I knew he was dead, I was really hurt.  I told Jim that I felt like an eighteen wheeler had driven through my heart.  I went to a revival at our church and when some friends were at the altar praying for their son, I quietly knelt behind them, put out my hand to touch them and prayed.  When I stood up, I realized that God had healed my heart, the big hole was gone.  I was afraid to tell anyone, because I thought if I did, the hole in my heart might return.  In my quiet time during that time I read about David and Goliath.  I realized that my brother’s death was a giant in my life.  Before David fought the giant, he fought bears and lions.  God reminded me of the bears and lions I had fought, and gave me courage to face the giant of my brother’s suicide.  He defeated Goliath because he did it in the power of the Lord.  God helped me fight my giant and my relationship with Him really grew.  Now when I think of my brother, I really try to focus on happy memories.  He was a very wonderful man. His name was Wade Taylor.  Suicide is never a solution.  Please get help if you ever feel like life isn’t worth living.  No matter how bad things are, they will always improve. 


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