Sixty-two should be old enough to learn lessons quickly, but sadly I find myself in a constant do over with each trial or difficulty I face. As many times as the Lord has had to rescue me, you would think I would remember His lessons. But sadly, I am a slow learner, a C- student at best. Spent the past week taking care of my 83 year old mother. She can be a challenge when she is well, but ill, she is as I like to call her, a “pain in the brain”. I love her dearly, but she is not any easy patient. She came close to dying on Sunday. I was a wreck. As many times as God has been faithful, you would think I would have the worry part done and buried. No, no I did not! I fretted and couldn’t eat or sleep. When I walked into the hospital room the next day, I expected to see her in a coma, but instead she was sitting up, drinking a cup of water, looking like she hadn’t just had a heart attack and a massive infection raging through her body. Sunday her fever was 104.7 and Monday it was 98.8. Sigh! This isn’t the first time God has helped me with taking care of her. This is the fourth hospital stay just in the past year. We had three more before that. She is wonder woman but God is the wonderful Savior! I want to tell Him I am sorry for not trusting Him more, and for not just leaning into His arm that could have held me up. That is why tonight I have a fresh new look on my blog. A spring theme as it were. A new beginning to try not to have to learn the hard way any more, or at least not as often! Spring and it’s promise of fresh starts is upon us. I know I am happy to see flowers and birds and a chance to be closer to the Lord who is so good to me, all the time!
I have a great friend on Facebook who asked a good question recently. She said, “Does anyone do one word resolutions? What’s your word for 2014?” Well naturally there were some thoughtful responses like, breath, balance, peace, and improve. I posted a word and I think everyone thought I was saying I didn’t have one. I said, “NO”. I literally meant my one word resolution for 2014 was NO! Seriously it is just plain old NO! No to so many things will be my response this year!
No to obligations I really don’t feel like are things I should do. I read this statement today that explains it a little clearer, when you let others’ expectations drive you, you scatter your energy to the winds. I want to focus on the things God wants me to do.
No to television more often and yes to reading and creating things!
No to the guilt trip I put on myself.
No to being anyone else but me! Just being me is so much easier and it gives my heart wings to soar!
No to that little voice who keeps you awake at night worrying about things that never happen!
No to the foods I know my body doesn’t need (I started this one last year).
My word for 2014 is NO! It is truly a resolution I plan to keep all year!
I wanted to share the story of loosing my little brother. Please pray for the Warren family during this time of grief and loss! Prayer really helps!
In 1985 my youngest brother was 27 years old. On February 28th of that year, he took a gun from my parent’s home and walked a few blocks, sat under a tree and took his life. It was four years later before his body was discovered. He was in a wooded secluded area. That was a very hard time for my whole family. We had nothing to warn us that he was unhappy or going through some hard times. Those four years were some of the hardest I ever faced! Before I knew officially he was dead, I was really hurting. I told Jim that I felt like an eighteen wheeler had driven through my heart. I went to a revival at our church and when some friends were at the altar praying for their son, I quietly knelt behind them, put out my hand to touch them and prayed. When I stood up, I realized that God had healed my heart, the big hole was gone. I was afraid to tell anyone, because I thought if I did, the hole in my heart might return. In my quiet time during that period, I read about David and Goliath. I realized that my brother’s death was a giant in my life. Before David fought the giant, he fought bears and lions. God reminded me of the bears and lions I had fought, and gave me courage to face the giant of my brother’s suicide. David defeated Goliath because he did it in the power of the Lord. God helped me fight my giant and my relationship with Him really grew. Now when I think of my brother, I really try to focus on happy memories. He was a very wonderful man. His name was Wade Taylor. Suicide is never a solution. Please get help if you ever feel like life isn’t worth living. No matter how bad things seem, they will improve! This is the national suicide hotline: 1-800-273-8255. God bless each of you. I pray the Lord will help each you who are facing a giant.
I have so many things to be thankful for. Thought I would make a small slide show of a few. Our late November weather has been amazing. I really thank God for the beauty all around our home. He created some beautiful sites! My wonderful husband, Jim Worth is the photographer. I add one of my favorite praise songs! Oh Praise Him!
I haven’t blogged in almost two weeks. That is a long time for me. I write three blogs and for a long time I put out all three every day. That all crashed when I moved my mom to a facility closer to my home. I had to find a good place. She was in a good place, but I was tired of the over 2 hour drive to check on her. I thought having her closer would be easier. It sounded good in theory. She is a bit of a challenge at times, but when she is not feeling well, she like most of us becomes hard to handle. On top of moving her, Jim and I came down with chest colds. We were sick at the same time, so no fun there. Anyway, the colds are better and mom is adjusting. This morning, I finally had the strength to get on the treadmill. About half way through my jog, I had this fleeting thought of running away, not sure where exactly, just away. Away from responsibility and being the adult, not the kid. But alas, you can not run away on a treadmill. I tried real hard, it doesn’t work. A little time with the Bible and Jesus helped calm my heart and helped me remember how much He loves me and how much He has helped me, and reminded me of how He will continue to be with me. So good to be back at my computer. I have missed all of you and this creative outlet for this silly brain rattling around in my head.
I think the relationship between God and Moses is one of my favorites from God’s Word. Today I read some verses that encouraged my heart. Hope it does the same for yours.
Moses said to God, “Look, you tell me, ‘Lead this people,’ but you don’t let me know whom you’re going to send with me. You tell me, ‘I know you well and you are special to me.’ If I am so special to you, let me in on your plans. That way, I will continue being special to you. Don’t forget, this is your people, your responsibility.”
God said, “My presence will go with you. I’ll see the journey to the end.”
Moses said, “If your presence doesn’t take the lead here, call this trip off right now. How else will it be known that you’re with me in this, with me and your people? Are you traveling with us or not? How else will we know that we’re special, I and your people, among all other people on this planet Earth?”
God said to Moses: “All right. Just as you say; this also I will do, for I know you well and you are special to me. I know you by name.”
There are so many awesome verses in this chapter. They encourage me when I start thinking I am on my own. When I read them, it reminds me that God knows me, I am special to Him, and He will see me through to the end of my journey! I want to share one more verse. Close to my all time favorite passage. Makes me tear up every time I read it or even think about it….
Moses died there in the land of Moab, Moses the servant of God, just as God said. God buried him in the valley in the land of Moab opposite Beth Peor. No one knows his burial site to this very day.
Did you catch that? God, yes God, buried Moses. God did what He promised, God said, “My presence will go with you. I’ll see the journey to the end.” This makes my heart sing. This makes my heart rejoice, with hope, lots of hope!